I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
