I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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