i think i have two assholes
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
