i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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