Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
