i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
