sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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