Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
