thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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