nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
