Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
