omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I'm having to shit out rocks
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
