you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
