tell your sister to shave her snatch
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
