Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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