Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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