Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
