normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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