If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
