i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Randomize
