it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
