Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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