I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
