I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
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