I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
