You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
