U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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