I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
