mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
You took a bar mat shot.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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