I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
