so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
