I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
