The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize