he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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