Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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