i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
