Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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