you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
