best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
