I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
