so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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