Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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