im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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