I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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