I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
