Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize