I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
