There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
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