just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
