the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
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